It All

Just so you know how it’s all going....

We have our fights still, like everyone – and we’re cool with the fact that that won’t change.

But here's a little story that will give you a glimpse into what's more normal for us over the last few years.

We are somewhat humiliated to say that we have only recently begun the “No TV At Dinner” rule. After a mild protest, the enjoyment of conversation takes over and the kids plunge into it whole-heartedly. We usually stop the whining about no TV with a question: What was the best part of your day today? Last night Jack, having been sick, declares that nothing was “the best” because throwing up is not fun. We encourage and explain, telling him that the point of the question is to help us notice that every day, good or bad, has a best part. Ruthie chimes in with stuff about her day at Preschool, to which Jack responds that she’s lucky because when he was in that childcare, the teachers were mean and nasty and he names Names. John asks about a particular teacher and Ruthie’s eyes light up – she knows that teacher. That teacher is one of hers, too! That teacher "calls me ‘RUTH’”, she smiles, emphasizing proudly the omission of the “ie”. “I like that, ‘RUTH’”, she beams. “That’s okay, too," she says, "Because that’s my actual name.” We, including Jack, all laugh with her upon this revelation. It is, in fact, her actual name. Conversation. Lovely conversation. John and I are still smiling about it as we fall asleep.

Then, this morning, it’s 6am, below zero, freezing cold and blasted DARK outside when we have to leave the warm blankets and begin the morning wake up routine. At lunch as usual, John calls to chat. I tell him with disgust that this weather is driving me crazy. We’re both freezing at night, trying to relax in the family room under 2 blankets each. I tell him I wish it were summer and we could pack us all up on Friday night and head to our folks for the weekend--look at 4 different walls for a few days. "I know," he says, "but we have plans this weekend." We aren’t going far and only for a few hours. It WILL be a welcome distraction, but we’ll still be, essentially, “cooped up”.

Then we’re talking about what tonight’s routine will be and we're laughing again at last night’s dinner conversation. We agree that this weekend we can fill in some down-time with a few family games, we can play with the kids, watch yet another movie together, that sort of thing. “We’ve got it all here, Tracy,” the love of my life reminds me. He's right, of course.

We really do.