“Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!” ~Homer Simpson

So, this is going to pretty much be a "stream of consciousness" blog post. Here we go.

As most of you know, my job was one of the victims of the current economic crisis. See, I started out writing that I, myself, was one of the victims, but I changed that. More later. I got laid off during the last week of February. It's taken me a month to get over it. I liked my job. I liked that achievement. I was pretty proud of it. Losing it was a bit of a blow.

Then again, over and over that day it was said to me that letting me go was difficult and absolutely NOT due to job performance issues. They liked me. Letting me go was difficult, etc. All of that standard lingo.

Then you go home and look at yourself in the mirror and try to repeat those words. It's sort of a "good on paper" thing. Doesn't feel real. What's real is that EVERYONE else is working and you are not - and that's NOT your choice.

I know that's not true, and I'm getting over it. I had a job interview (and I didn't get the position) the first week I was off! That was too fast.

I think God is "giving" me this time for a reason. I've thought that all along but I'm impatient. I really believe it, but c'mon. Let's get real.

I think this IS real.

SO, a month has gone by. We have a better than reasonable amount of time for me to find another job and we have several options. We are luckier than some and I've been told by virtually everyone in my support system to RELAX.

Relax. Tonight, I finally got there. I'm more than half way into thinking about sunshine and summer and giving my kids a summer at home with mom that they (and we) may never have a chance at again. Camping, swimming lessons, riding bike in the neighborhood, baking, keeping in touch with friends and family, family weddings, etc.

John played the piano tonight while the kids were in bed and I surfed the net and you know what, I didn't once, NOT ONE SINGLE TIME, check any job postings. I'm taking the weekend off.

I am taking the weekend off.

And I think I might start relaxing a little.